The Donor
by kerrbear7
Summary: A child's life hangs in the balance... Can people overcome their personal fears for the betterment of a sick child? The present is always affected by the past, especially in this story...
1. Saying Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**So here is the first chapter. This story will probably be longer, spanning the course of several years. Many twists and turns ahead. Hope you enjoy!**

"Em? Emma? It's time to go."

Emma didn't bother to look up, nor did she make any effort to move her body. How do you move when you're numb anyway? She just continued to stare straight ahead, the dark, oak casket, now closed, looming in front of her.

Jay took a shaky breath and placed a hand on Emma's shoulder. She didn't budge. He sighed and lowered his tired body down to the hard, wooden pew. The silence of the church made Jay incredibly uncomfortable. Being here, alone, with her, was almost too much. This was not how things were meant to play out. Hadn't they both been in this same church, only months before, for a much happier reason?

"Um, they want to move him, Em," Jay whispered. "We have to go."

Emma shook her head, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. "Not yet."

"It's not up to me, Em. The director, he said they have to get on with it."

Again, almost in defiance, Emma shook her head. "I'm not ready. I can't..."

Jay turned to her, realizing now just how small and fragile she looked. It was obvious that this was more than taking a toll on her, her normally svelt body, looking thinner than usual. He placed a hand under her arm, just at her elbow, gently pulling her to her feet. Emma allowed herself to be lead out of the pew, up to the front of the church, and ending up in front of the casket.

"I don't want to say goodbye," Emma said quietly, looking up at Jay.

Jay placed an arm around Emma's shoulders, squeezing her lightly to his side. "Then don't. I'm not going to. You hear that, buddy? You'll never hear me say goodbye. I know we'll party again. And I'm gonna take care of this wife of your's too. So don't you worry, okay?"

Emma, smiling through her tears, looked up at Jay once again, seeing tears falling on his cheeks. She squeezed him back, sighing heavily. "That goes double for me. And I'll make sure Jay doesn't screw things in his life up too badly."

They exchanged a look. But, as Jay tried to turn Emma's body, to walk away from the casket, she suddenly crumpled, leaving her in a pile on the carpeted floor of the church, her body shaking with the tears and boisterous sobbing that erupted.

When Jay bent to pick her up, Emma tossed his hands away. "No! I can't do it, okay? I don't want to! I don't want to leave this place without him! I just can't!" she yelled.

Spike, having heard her daughter's screams from the lobby of the church, came running in. Jay was bent down, beside Emma, trying desperately to gather her into his arms. Spike, her face stained by her own tears, gave Jay a saddened look.

But Emma had no fight left in her and it took very little for Jay to finally gather her sobbing body into his big arms. He hoisted her up, carrying her like a small child, in his arms, out of the church.

**Please read and review!**


	2. An Important Memory

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas...**

"She's doing well, really, Spike," Manny assured. She gave Emma a look, offering her the phone. Emma shook her head, exiting the room. Manny sighed. "Listen, Spike, I'm taking very good care of her, okay? You and Snake should just try to enjoy your vacation. You don't have to call every day, or twice a day! If Emma were here, you could talk to her, but she's not. Where? Um, she's at work. Well, you know her. Work, work, work! I will tell her that you called, again, and have her call you back. Okay. You too. Bye."

Manny hung up the phone, feeling exhausted from her latest conversation with Emma's mother. She grit her teeth and gathered in a large breath. "Emma!" she yelled.

Emma slinked her way back into the living room, smiling slightly at her friend. "You called?"

"And so has your mother! Like, twenty times, in the past three days! Will you tell me why you won't talk to her?" Manny asked, feeling drained as she plopped back against the fluffy pillows of the couch.

Emma shrugged. "It's been six months, Manny. I've been a widow for six whole months, and my parents act like I'm going to crack at any moment. Why do you think I paid to send them away on this trip? It's to get them out of my hair and for them to stop asking me if I'm okay! I know her concern comes out of love, but she's driving me crazy. Talking to her makes me dredge up things that are better left to rest. I know that I'm being a sucky friend and an even suckier daughter, but I just need some space from all that mourning. Please tell me that you understand?"

Manny pulled Emma into a hug. "I'm happy to hear you say that you're getting on with things. I know that you miss Sean like crazy, but I do think you're right; wallowing in grief has its time, but that time has passed. And with such a great roommate like me, well how can one stand to be depressed?"

Emma shook her head, rolling her eyes at her friend. As Manny got to her feet, heading off to her bedroom, Emma looked around her living room. Manny had moved in to the small apartment within a month of Sean's passing. Emma couldn't admit it at the time, but she loved having Manny around, especially in those early days. Manny just had a way of being there, without making her presence annoying. Emma wished it could be Sean she was sharing this apartment with, but Manny was definitely not a bad consolation prize!

Emma sighed, resting her head back on the pillows. She stared at the wall in front of her, at the 11x16 black and white photo. Sean had never looked more handsome than he did that day, his black tuxedo fit perfectly to his frame. Emma, not a hair out of place, her strapless dress needing to be taken in two days before the wedding. Emma smiled, staring at the picture, remembering how happy she had been that day.

FLASHBACK

"_I do," Sean said, a smile upon his lips._

_Emma stared up at Sean with relief, almost like she thought, for a brief second, that he would say he didn't. She let out a shaky breath, as the priest mentioned something about rings._

_Manny's hand appeared on Emma's arm, bringing her back to reality. Emma smiled her thanks to her best friend, accepting the gold band that Manny was offering. _

_They exchanged rings, saying words that Emma couldn't remember now if she tried, and then they were presented to the church as man and wife. They shared a chaste, but loving kiss, sealing their bond with the traditional measure of intimacy._

END OF FLASHBACK

Emma continued to stare at the picture, thinking about how things were back then. Only eleven months ago. Emma eyes teared. Eleven months and already a widow. Why had things played out this way?

Emma was only three days out of university and her life, which she normally liked to see so well-mapped-out, was in utter chaos. Graduation, interviews for jobs, apartment shopping, showers, and of course, last-minute preparation for her wedding. Exciting? Yes. Crazy? Obviously!

And how things had managed to go so smoothly, Emma would never know. But she was thankful. Her parents had thrown a small, intimate gathering, to celebrate her recent graduation from the University of Toronto. After approximately ten successful interviews with various companies, Emma accepted a job, based in Toronto, with the Ministry of the Environment. Surprisingly enough, Sean and Emma found their perfect apartment after seeing only seven horrible ones! Manny, Emma's wonderful maid of honour, used her penchant for style to plan and execute the perfect bridal shower! And all that help, left Emma just enough time to prepare for her dream wedding!

But, after only two months of wedded bliss, Emma's perfect life came crashing down. Sean was called for duty and given orders to ship out to Iraq. They called it peace keeping, but Emma, still very much anti-war, knew different. Sean would be dodging bullets and suicide car-bombers. He would be putting his life in danger. Emma begged him not to go. Sean, committed to being a soldier in every sense of the word, kissed his wife and tried to make her understand, as best he could, that this was something he not only had to do, but wanted and was proud to do.

Emma rubbed her teary eyes with the back of her hand, wondering why she was choosing now to reminisce, given that she'd just told Manny she was okay and moving forward.

But she couldn't help remembering the day Sean left. He would fly out from Toronto to Halifax, where he would meet with the rest of his troop. Emma clung to him, for as long as she could, hoping that she'd be able to carry this feeling, of his strong arms around her, until he came back.

And then a memory... One that Emma had forgotten. Something that had been so important then, but now? Was it still important?

FLASHBACK

"_I love you, Emma," Sean whispered into her ear. "And I will be home in a few months. And then we'll work on that baby we want, okay?"_

END OF FLASHBACK

Emma had almost forgotten. A baby? Their baby. She had wanted that so badly and then she'd lost Sean. Did that mean she'd lost her chances for the baby she so desperately wanted too?


	3. The Favour

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"You look good, Nelson," Jay commented, watching her over the rim of his glass.

Emma smiled. "Thanks. I actually feel pretty good too. I can actually get through a few days at a time without the need to cry. I'm coming along with leaps and bounds, Hogart. You?"

Jay sighed, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Exhausted actually. Some lady comes in today with her Rolls Royce! The thing is a mess. You name it, the car needs it. And she expects to have the thing back in her possession by next week! Sorry. I got a little carried away there. Jay's fine. Thanks for asking."

Emma giggled. "It's nice to hear someone ramble on about their own problems instead of asking about mine all of the time."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "I was surprised when you called. Is everything okay?"

Jay watched as Emma shifted nervously in her seat. She finally looked at him and he didn't know why, but he was scared by what he saw there.

"Lately, I've been sort of replaying memories of Sean and I, in my head, kind of like a movie or something. I'd thought I'd remembered everything, but then something sort of popped up. And now I can't forget about it. In fact, since I've thought of this, it's all I've been thinking about, for the last two months."

"The whole cryptic thing, lost on me, Nelson. I'm not following where you're going," Jay admitted, leaning back in his chair.

Emma licked her suddenly dry lips. "Before Sean left for duty, I told him that I wanted a baby. We planned on trying to have one as soon as he got back from Iraq. We know how that all played out."

Jay continued to stare at Emma. She wanted a baby? He didn't know this. In fact, he'd bugged Sean about it enough times, but Sean's cool reaction led Jay to think that maybe he wasn't really ready for a family. Jay watched a lone tear slide down Emma's red cheek.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Jay said quietly, leaning forward.

Emma raised her eyes to meet his. "I still want that, Jay. Now more than ever."

"I know it's hard to think about this now, but you will meet someone new. You'll have your baby."

"And what if I don't want to wait?" she asked.

"What choice do you have?" he questioned. "Adoption?"

Emma closed her eyes, swiping a hand across them. When she opened her eyes, Jay was almost shocked to see the intensity of hurt there.

"I went to an adoption agency, but I was rejected," she confessed. "Mostly because I'm on my own. Apparently single mothers aren't good enough to adopt children who have no one else. Strike one."

Jay pursed his lips. "I don't know what to say." He felt awkward that she was bringing this to him. He truly knew of nothing that he could say to make this better for Emma. She had already experienced so much pain and now, with this whole wanting a child thing, she was probably headed for more.

"I thought about getting a donor and having my own baby," she told him.

Jay coughed twice before regaining his composure. "You what?"

Emma smiled. "I thought about getting a sperm donor so that I could have my own baby. But the whole process is pretty costly and I have a great job, but not that great! Strike two."

Jay nodded his head. She needed money. Okay, so this makes sense. "How much do you need?" he asked.

"Ten thousand per session."

Jay's eyes grew large. He shook his head. "I wish I had that kind of money, Emma, but I don't. I'm sorry."

"I didn't ask you to meet me to hit you up for money, Jay," she explained. She took a deep breath. "I want you to help me in another way. I want you to be the donor."

"You what?" Jay laughed, sure that this was all a joke and Emma was just pulling his leg. "Right!"

But Emma's face remained serious. No evidence of a smile in sight. Jay blinked a few times, feeling a little light-headed. He'd do anything for his best friend's widow, but this was pushing it!

"Okay, so I know that I probably just shocked the hell out of you. It's just that you're the only guy I even considered for this. You're probably the best guy friend I have."

"Thanks for the compliment, Nelson, but I can't be somebody's daddy. That's not me," Jay admitted. "I barely take care of myself."

"And I get that. I don't want a dad for my child. As far as I'm concerned, Sean is the only man I will ever love and therefore the only father I ever would have wanted for my child. But life throws you curve balls sometimes. I don't mean to sound crass here, but I only want..."

"My guys," Jay finished, understanding exactly what Emma was asking of him. "So I wouldn't be expected to be there, or support you financially or anything?"

"Not a thing. Just your...sample. What do you think?"

Emma had dreaded coming here, asking this huge favour of Jay, but she realized that picking someone out of a book, no matter how costly, just didn't feel right.

"Tell me where I need to go, hand me a Playboy, and we're in business!" Jay smirked.

Emma's face fell. Now this was the uncomfortable part. "Even with my own...sample, it's still a huge cost."

"So how do we do this?"

"The usual way," Emma whispered.

Jay coughed again, this time taking much longer to compose himself. "You mean we'd have to...?"

"Yes. Probably more than once."

"Are you hitting on me? Is this some twisted way you have of hitting on me?" Jay asked, lowering his voice so the other people in the restaurant couldn't hear him.

Emma laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation. "No. I am not hitting on you. I want to have a baby. I need your sperm, Jay. That's it. This is the only affordable way I can get what I want. I've come to you, as a friend, because I think that you're the best candidate."

"Are you insane? You want a little Hogart running around your house? Are you crazy? Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Are you saying no?" Emma pushed.

Jay sighed, leaning back once again in his chair. He studied Emma. A beautiful woman wanting to have worry-free, no-strings-attached sex with him wasn't the worst thing that could happen, but could he do this, with Sean's wife?

"Can I think about it?" he asked.

"As long as you need to," Emma answered.

Emma gathered her things and stood up, but Jay gently took hold of her wrist. "Sit down, please." Emma sat and Jay sighed again. "Okay," he whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"I said okay. If this is really what you want. I'll do it."

Emma smiled widely, getting up from where she was seated so she could hug Jay fiercely. "Thank you! You are so awesome!"

Jay smirked, hugging her back. "Don't get ahead of yourself, honey. That's usually what most ladies tell me afterwards, Nelson."

**Hope you like where this story is heading. Please read and review!**


	4. Awkward Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Thanks for all the great reviews! I hope you enjoy the next few chapters of this story!**

Jay gave himself a once over in the mirror of his bathroom. He put a hand through his tousled hair. He held his hand up in front of his face, noticing that it was shaking. _What the hell are you so nervous about? It's not like you've never done this before!_

But Jay's nerves had a lot more to do with who he would be doing this with, not the action itself. He was supposed to meet Emma tonight, at her apartment. It was to be the first of what would probably be several lurid meetings.

FLASHBACK

"_Jay? Um, it's Emma," she said breathlessly._

_Jay rubbed his temples with his index fingers. He'd known by his caller ID that it was her and had debated for several seconds on whether or not to pick up. She'd said she'd call when she was 'ready to get things rolling'. _

"_Emma. Hey," he returned. "What's up?"_

"_Um, I told you that I'd call, you know, when things were a go," she paused, gathering her courage, knowing that if the initial conversation were this hard, the act itself would be mortifying. "So, um, it's all systems go."_

_Jay found himself chuckling without meaning to, but the action helped to put him at ease. _

END OF FLASHBACK

As Jay drove to Emma's, he continued to tell himself that this was no different than any other time he'd ever done this. Only this time there was a purpose, other than his own satisfaction. This time there were expectations. Expectations that scared the crap out of Jay.

He knocked on her door, praying that Manny had been given the green light to find other accommodations for the evening. Emma opened the door, dressed in a short skirt and tank top. _Maybe she's trying to make my job a lot easier. She looks cute as hell in this outfit._ But Jay immediately shook those thoughts from his mind, reminding himself that this was all so that Emma could have a baby and nothing else. There was no room for feelings here.

They sat in Emma's bedroom, each refusing to look at the other, perched on the edge of the bed as if the slightest movement would send them both into a burning volcano.

"Are you nervous?" she whispered, finally breaking the awkward silence.

"Nervous as hell," Jay admitted. He finally looked at her. "It's not like I've never done this before. It's just that I've never had to do it for a particular reason. I feel a little pressure, you know?"

Emma nodded her head, swallowing. "Look, just so you know, I have no expectations. I mean, I do, but if things don't, you know, work out... Well I guess I just want you to know that if I don't get pregnant right away, I won't hold it against you."

"You do know that there's a chance that I won't get you pregnant at all, right?" Jay asked. "I've never impregnated someone before. It's something I usually try to prevent actually. All I'm saying is that I'm not even sure I can...get you pregnant."

Emma nodded her head. "Let's just cross that bridge when, if, we come to it, okay?"

"Fine by me," Jay agreed, holding up his hands. "So? You're...um...ready?"

Emma took a deep breath and slipped off the bed. Jay would have laughed if he hadn't been so scared, watching Emma carefully peel the covers off of the bed. He wondered if she'd been this timid with Sean and then chastised himself for even making the comparison. Of course she hadn't! She loved Sean and he loved her. They probably shook the rafters with all that love! _This is not helping the situation, Hogart!_

But Jay couldn't help think about his best friend. He was probably rolling over in his grave right about now, the thought of Jay and Emma in this way making him sick. Jay was suddenly feeling a little weary himself, as he looked over at Emma's night stand, a picture of her wedding day in a silver frame.

Emma followed Jay's gaze, straight to her wedding photograph. She grabbed the picture, shoving it into her night stand drawer. Jay nodded his head once, acknowledging her action.

Jay slowly got off the bed, approaching Emma, who was still standing, adjusting the covers over and over again. He stopped in front of her, bending over to kiss her rose-coloured lips.

But Emma stopped him before his lips touched hers. "No kissing, okay?"

"Huh?" Jay asked, dumbfounded.

"It's just that kissing tends to be intimate. I don't think we should confuse this from what it really is."

"A meaningless transaction," Jay finished for her. He shook his head and turned away. "I hate to tell you this, Nelson, but guys need a little fuel to get the old fires burning, you know?"

Emma closed her eyes slightly and approached Jay. She brought her face close to his, but instead of kissing his lips, she kissed his neck, allowing her warm tongue to trail a path to his collar bone, where she suckled it gently. Jay closed his eyes, allowing his body to give over to the seduction Emma's lips were playing on his neck.

Emma's breath caught as Jay's arms came around her middle, hauling her off her feet until her body was pressed against his. He planted his lips on her own neck, nuzzling the area that was extra sensitive for Emma. She swallowed down her fear of the unknown, telling herself that she'd rather have her baby conceived this way, than in some laboratory or doctor's office.

Jay laid Emma down on the bed, stopping midway to remove his shirt. Emma saw Jay's upper body for the first time, amazed that she had never realized just how put together he really was. Jay saw Emma take in his body and smirked, glad that she was at least semi-enjoying herself. He reached forward, taking hold of the hem of her top, gently pulling it upwards.

"Does it need to come off?" she asked timidly. Jay gave her a confused look. "I have body issues."

Jay shook his head, removing her top. He let out a large breath. "You have no need for body issues, Nelson. Your body is amazing."

Emma smiled, laying back against her pillows, preparing herself both mentally and physically for what was about to occur. In a few minutes, she'd be having sex with someone other than Sean. He'd been her only partner, ever. How would this experience compare to her others?

But as Jay laid his body upon Emma's, neither was thinking about comparisons or about Sean. Jay tried to plant his lips on Emma's several times, each time she moved her head, refusing the action. So he settled for laying his lips elsewhere on Emma's tantalizing body. Places like her neck, collar bone, the swell of her breasts, and her taut, flat stomach. Emma found herself becoming more and more turned on by each inch that Jay's lips covered on her waiting body. Jay could barely keep it together, his body screaming for full on rewards, while his mind told him he had to earn it first.

And when Jay finally made the move to strip Emma of the small piece of silk holding up the progression of this experience, he found Emma a willing participant, lifting her hips, making Jay's task easier.

Emma tried to calm her nerves, wondering what this would be like, willing herself not to think of Sean, or of any of their times together. Would it hurt, given the number of months she'd been celibate? Would Jay be rough or slow and gentle? She wanted her child conceived out of love, but that wasn't what she felt for Jay. Could two people who didn't love each other make love? Emma pursed her lips together tightly, as she felt Jay press his body into hers.

Jay immediately stilled himself inside of her, looking down into her tense face. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Emma had told herself even before this began that Jay would never hold a candle to Sean, so her expectations for this experience were low. But she couldn't help the comparison when she felt Jay inside of her. He filled her completely, a feeling of warmth spreading throughout her body. Emma blushed instantly, realizing that she was mentally comparing Jay's size to Sean's.

"Emma?" Jay asked, noticing the colour appearing on her cheeks. "We can stop if you want to."

Jay hadn't begun to move, his body staying as still as possible. But the truth was that he really didn't want to stop. This just felt too good, too right, to be halted early.

Emma finally found her voice, her breath shaky as she admitted, "I'm fine. We don't have to stop. Unless you want to?"

Jay smirked, licking his lips. "I like to leave my customers satisfied, Nelson."

Emma looked up at him, her tight mouth finally forming a smile. "Emma."

"Huh?"

"Call me Emma."

"Emma," he whispered, moving slowly on top of her.

When it ended, a half hour later, Jay rolled off of Emma, onto his back, panting heavily. He stared up at Emma's ceiling, absorbed in his own post-coital pleasure. It wasn't until he heard Emma's soft sobs, that he realized something was wrong.

He turned to her, asking, "What's wrong?"

Emma laid there, refusing to move, crying quietly, tears trailing down her cheeks and onto her pillow.

Jay propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over Emma, who was covered with nothing but a sheet. Jay knew that something was upsetting her, but thought she still looked beautiful, despite her red nose and eyes.

He touched her arm lightly. "Emma? You okay?"

She looked over at him, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Please don't think I'm crazy or anything. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it. I did. I think I probably enjoyed it more than I expected to."

"And that's a bad thing?" Jay asked, still stroking her arm.

"Not a bad thing. Just different. I've never been with anyone other than Sean. And I guess there was a really big part of me that expected this to just be a mechanical thing. I wasn't expecting...that," she confessed.

Jay's face fell. "I'm sorry."

Emma smiled at him, grabbing his hand that had been rubbing her arm tenderly. She held it between her soft hands, kissing it gently. "You are so much better than I've ever given you credit for. Thank you for doing this and thank you for not making it something awkward or tawdry."

Jay smiled, kissing Emma's temple. He stretched. "I guess I should get going."

Emma grabbed his arm. "Can you stay?"

Jay eyed her carefully. The vulnerability in her eyes made him nervous. Was he biting off more than he could chew?

Emma sensed his indecision. "Just until I fall asleep?"

Jay smiled, gathering Emma into his arms and squeezing her tightly. "I'm here, Nelson...Emma."

**I hope this scene isn't too awkward. Please read and review!**


	5. Comfort Turns To Fear

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"Jay?"

"In the kitchen!"

Emma dropped her bag and purse by the door, stepping out of her high heels, and shedding her jacket. She walked into the kitchen, smiling at Jay, clad in a pink apron, standing over her stove.

"Don't laugh, Nelson. Pink may not be my colour, but I'm still working it!" he smirked.

Emma approached him, shaking her head. She gave him a big hug, kissing his lips briefly. She peaked over his shoulder at the skillet. "Veggie stir fry, huh?"

Jay lifted the lid of the second skillet. "Meatless for you, dead cow for me."

Emma rolled her eyes, grabbing a carrot stick from the package on the counter. "Is Manny home?"

"Yep. She's in her room I think. So, aren't you going to ask me why the big meal?"

She smiled at him, hopping up onto the counter, as she noisily crunched on her carrot. "Okay, Hogart. Lay it on me."

He cocked an eyebrow, standing in between her dangling legs and wrapping his arms around her. "That will come later. Anyway, the Rolls? Finito! I handed the old lady back her keys today. And she even smiled at me when we took it out for a test drive. Gave me a nice hefty tip too!"

Emma leaned forward, kissing his lips. "Well then congrats! I guess we do have reason to celebrate, don't we?"

Jay went back to his two skillets, not looking at her, when he asked, "How did the proposal go?"

Emma smiled, despite the fact that Jay couldn't see it. "Hedges loved it! He's making a trip to Montreal next week to run it by the office there. And guess who will be accompanying him? Your's truly!"

Jay finished stirring his meat around the skillet, and stepped over to Emma. He kissed her lips gently and touched her cheek with his finger. "Look at us. Being all successful and stuff. It's almost like we're adults or something."

Emma slid down off the counter. "Well this adult needs to change out of her stuffy office clothes. I'll be back in a second."

Jay watched Emma walk out of the kitchen and smiled. If anyone would have told him six months ago that he'd be cooking dinner for Emma Nelson, he would have laughed in their faces. But so much had changed. They'd settled nicely into this...this... _What the hell is this anyway?_

"Smells good, Hogart!" came Manny's voice from behind him.

He made a face at her and turned back to his cooking. Manny stepped further into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of water. She unscrewed the cap and took a long drink.

"I know that I haven't exactly been a fan of your's or anything, but I just wanted to say that I'm really glad that you're around," Manny admitted.

Jay turned to stare at her, his mouth open slightly. "What do you want?" he asked, suspicious of the olive branch Manny was extending.

Manny rolled her eyes. "I've been worried about Emma and this whole wanting a baby thing. I thought that she was just looking for something, for someone, to take the place of Sean. I just didn't want her to bite off more than she could chew. Having a baby and raising it on your own can't be easy. I've been worried about Emma doing all of that."

Jay tried to ignore the baby conversation, especially with Manny. The fact was that Jay was beginning to think he wouldn't be able to give Emma the baby she wanted, but the truth was, he wasn't devastated by the news. Month after month, Emma would take her pregnancy test, find out she wasn't pregnant, and Jay would silently rejoice. They had a good thing going here, so why mess it up? But, of course, he hadn't mentioned any of this to Emma.

"At first, when Emma told me that it was you who would be fathering the child, well, I guess I thought that you were doing it for your own selfish benefits. But now I see that I was wrong."

Jay rubbed his face with his hand. Manny was about to praise him for something she couldn't be more wrong about. Jay liked the setup he had with Emma. They were compatible in bed, more so than even he expected. They got along and rarely fought. But Jay also had freedom to come and go as he pleased. Not that he'd been with anyone else, but still, the option was there if he wanted it.

"I know that you care about Emma. And I kind of like the idea of you being her child's dad. You're so good with Emma, that I'm sure you'll be even better when you two finally have your child," Manny smiled.

She gave him a small hug, from behind, and left the kitchen. Jay found himself unable to move, to breathe, to do anything more than blink. Dad? His child? It was all too much for Jay to comprehend right now. All he knew was that he had to get out of this apartment, and now.

Emma walked back into the kitchen, finding Jay, a stunned look on his pale face. "You okay?"

Jay swallowed and nodded his head. He faked a smile for her and, knowing that he was lying, failed to meet Emma's eyes as he said, "I just got a call from Tony. The lady with the Rolls is back. Apparently there's some kind of problem. I have to get back to the garage right now."

Emma's face fell. "Well, okay then. Um, do you want me to wait for you? I can grab a snack and we can have a late dinner?"

Jay shook his head, grabbing his keys from the top of the fridge. "You eat. I'll probably be later than usual anyway. If I don't make it back here tonight, don't worry, okay?"

Emma nodded her head, watching Jay leave her apartment. _He didn't kiss me_, she suddenly realized. _He left without so much as a goodbye. What's wrong with him?_

But Emma tried to push her fears aside as she prepared two plates and brought Manny some food.

**Sorry it's so short, but you know where this is leading...**


	6. Two Pink Lines

**Disclaimer: I would love to be a writer for Degrassi. I would put Emma and Jay together. But I'm not and therefore, I own nothing...**

"Two lines. I see two lines! Do you see two lines?"

Manny smiled widely, shrieking, "I definitely see two lines! Go Emma! You're preggers! You and Jay are gonna have a baby!"

Emma bit into her lower lip. She hadn't even wanted to take this pregnancy test. She'd been taking test after test after test each month, with no success. But this month was different. Emma hadn't wanted to say anything to anyone, but she was late, almost three weeks late. And now...two, pink lines. Pregnant. Was it really possible?

"Aren't you excited?" Manny asked.

Emma smiled. "Of course I'm excited. I'm just a little shocked is all. Every test comes out negative. Is it possible that this is a false positive?"

Manny shrugged. "You and Jay should probably make an appointment to find out for sure. Omigod! You still have to tell Jay!"

Emma suddenly felt very nervous. She hadn't even seen Jay in almost two weeks. He was crazy busy with work and she'd been in Montreal for a few days. She was worried that something was wrong, but scared to approach Jay about it in case her suspicions were right. Things had been going well for the two of them. The last thing Emma wanted was to scare him off just when things were getting started.

"He'll be happy, Em," Manny assured.

Emma shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know. The whole agreement was that he was here to help me get pregnant, not to be a father."

"Yeah, but look at the two of you! Over the past six months, you've spent almost every day together! Jay acts totally cute around you. And you did say that the sex has gone from purpose to pleasure, right?"

Emma blushed. Leave it to Manny! "It's always been pleasurable, Manny!"

"But you let him kiss you, right?"

Emma nodded her head slowly. She'd been so adamant about the whole no-kissing thing at first. And then she had allowed Jay to kiss her. Well no other kiss in her entire life, including every kiss she'd ever had with Sean, could compare to the magnitude of that first kiss.

FLASHBACK

_Jay had given up trying to kiss Emma during their time together. She never let his lips touch hers. Some kind of unwritten rule she was determined to enforce, no matter how much time went by._

_So he was taken completely off guard when Emma, ready to come undone, lying underneath Jay's glistening, panting body, offered, "You can kiss me, if you want to."_

_Jay smirked, looking down into her angelic face. He knew she would break eventually. She already let herself be reckless between the sheets, why not add to their repertoire?_

_Jay bent his head, brushing his lips against Emma's gently. When he deepened the kiss, pressing his lips fully to hers, she opened her mouth willingly, allowing entry to his waiting tongue. _

_That kiss, that magical, wonderful, first kiss, made Emma float over the precipice of pleasure, not soaring back to Earth until several minutes later._

END OF FLASHBACK

"Emma, just go and tell him. Jay will be happy, I know it. Jay and Emma..." Manny sang, walking off.

Emma shook her head, hoping that Manny's optimistic ideas were true...


	7. Walking Away

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"What are you so pissy about?" Spinner asked.

Jay, after having flung his wrench across the garage, shot Spinner a dirty look. Having lost Sean, Spinner was a good step-in best friend, but he still managed to annoy Jay, just like back in high school. To make matters worse, Spinner now worked with Jay, the two often spending many hours under the same car together. But Jay had to admit that his recent tantrum had nothing at all to do with Spinner.

"I thought things were going pretty well for you, Hogart," Spinner pointed out.

"Yeah, it's just a party over here," Jay replied sarcastically, wiping his hands on a rag.

Spinner watched Jay walk away from the car he was working on, frustration written all over his face. "What's the issue, dude? Something with Emma?"

Jay had failed to mention his 'plans' concerning Emma with anyone, except Spinner. He felt like he could confide in Spinner and not have it come back to bite him on the ass. But Spinner also knew that things had changed dramatically for Emma and Jay since starting all of this. Sure, it had started out as Jay doing Emma the hugest favour, but Jay found that it was really Emma who was doing him the favour. But Jay, being Jay, let his fear and his ego get in the way of all things good in his life.

"Are things okay between you and Emma?" Spinner asked. His face suddenly broke into a smile, "Dude! Is she knocked up?"

"No! Thank God!" Jay muttered. When Spinner shot him a weird look, Jay explained. "This whole thing started out as something that required very little from me. When did it all change?"

Spinner shrugged. "Probably around the time when you fell in love with her."

"I don't love her!"

"Sure you don't," Spinner laughed. "You spend every single minute with her. When you're not with her, you're talking about her. And when you're not talking about, you're probably..."

"Enough!" Jay yelled, interrupting Spinner's tirade. "I don't love Emma. I agreed to be a donor, to get her pregnant. That's all! I guess I still feel like she's my responsibility now that Sean's gone. But I am not her boyfriend."

"And the baby?"

"Well thank God there is no baby! And if and when there is one, then it's goodbye Emma. My part of the contract will be fulfilled and I can finally move on. It's not like..."

Spinner's face contorted and he was shaking his head roughly. "Emma!" he greeted, shooting Jay a look, as he walked over to briefly hug Emma.

Jay cursed under his breath, slowly turning and offering a smile to Emma. She was dressed in her work clothes, a classy power suit, the skirt short enough to show off her amazing legs. Her face gave nothing away, but Jay had the feeling that she had heard everything he was rambling on about. He suddenly felt sorry that he had even opened his mouth in the first place.

"What's up?" Jay asked, trying to make his voice casual.

Emma swallowed and sniffed. "Um, I heard what you said."

Jay's face fell. He should have known that she'd call him on it. "Sorry?"

"You don't have to be. In fact, this works out for the best. I was coming here to tell you that I'm moving to Montreal. I got the contract and, um, I've decided to go myself instead of letting someone else handle my idea. So, um, you not wanting a...relationship or whatever...well that just makes this a whole lot easier."

Jay wasn't buying it. Emma looked like she was on the verge of tears. He stepped forward, but she retreated.

"And you're right about the baby thing. I mean, what was I thinking? Having a baby by myself? So not the best idea. So, um, I just wanted to come by and say...well...bye," she stammered.

Jay eyed her. "So that's it?" She shrugged and Jay wasn't sure why, but he found the action hurtful. "You're just moving away and that's that?"

She tried to smile, but failed miserably. "That's that. So I just wanted to say, um, thank you. It was really...selfless...of you." Jay stepped forward once again, but Emma continued to retreat. "I...um...I gotta go."

Jay wanted to say something, but found he was unable to speak. He stood, dumbfounded, and watched Emma walk out of the garage and out of his life...

**Please read and review! Hope you enjoy!**


	8. Just a Nosebleed?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Sorry for the slight delay. Here you go...three new chapters. Take into consideration that five years have passed. **

FIVE YEARS LATER...

Emma walked into the spacious kitchen, holding a wad of tissues to Jase's nose.

"Here, honey. Sit down and keep this on your nose. I'll get breakfast started and then check on you, okay?"

Jase, his four year old legs dangling from the chair he was perched on, was barely visible under the giant mass of Kleenex pressed against his face.

"Another nosebleed?"

Emma nodded, shooting a worried look to her small son. She tried to focus her attention on getting Jase's oatmeal ready, but it was taking her longer than usual since her mind was elsewhere.

"What's that, like, seven in the last five days?"

Emma sniffed absently, meeting her boyfriend's eyes. "Eight."

"Nosebleeds are common. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"I'm sure you're right, but I'm still making an appointment to see his pediatrician as soon as we can get in. I'll feel a whole lot better if I know it's nothing to worry about, for real. But thanks for trying to convince me it's nothing. I don't know what I'd do without you," she smiled, bending to offer him a small peck on the lips.

"Are you two kissing?" came Jase's small, muffled voice, from under the tissues.

Emma didn't even bother trying to hide her amusement. At four, Jase could often be a handful, but he also had numerous moments of just being a curious, lovable kid. And Emma's heart swelled with pride over the wonderful job she had done raising him, especially since she'd done it almost entirely by herself.

She'd left Toronto, moving to Montreal shortly after finding out that she was pregnant. Faced with adapting to a new job, finding a home, and preparing for parenthood, Emma had been overwhelmed. There were many times during those first few months, when Emma felt sure she'd never make it through. Looking back on it now, she was happy that she hadn't given up, hadn't slunk back home to the safety of her mother's house. Now, with Jase having just started kindergarten and her job being the most satisfying career she could have chosen, Emma felt safe and secure, but most importantly, happy and fulfilled.

"Can I take these off now?" Jase asked.

Emma returned back to the present, stirring Jase's oatmeal, grabbing his orange juice, and approaching the table. She removed the tissues from his face, happy to see that the bleeding had finally ceased. She kissed the top of his head and left him to eat his breakfast.

"He's fine, Em. You worry too much."

She shrugged. "He's everything to me. For such a long time, he was all I had."

Her boyfriend smiled at her, asking, "You want me to come to the doctor's office with you guys?"

"Not necessary. We probably won't get in until sometime next week anyway. And you'll be out of town then. I wouldn't want to take you away from this art conference you're going to. I know how much it means to you. Jase and I will be fine," she assured.

She left the kitchen, heading to her room so she could have a quiet moment to phone Jase's doctor. She sat down heavily onto her bed, sighing as her body hit the soft mattress. She couldn't pinpoint why, but she felt like something was wrong inside of her son's small body. Call it mother's intuition. Call it a silly pessimism. Emma knew, beyond a doubt that something was wrong and no matter what Jimmy told her, she couldn't shake the awful feeling that Jase's little life was in danger.

**Anyone catch that? The name of Emma's boyfriend? May seem kind of random, but trust me, it will play into the plot eventually. Hope you like!**


	9. Doing What It Takes

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except for the character of Jase...**

"How many times a week, average, is Jase having these nosebleeds?"

Emma watched Dr. Levy as she took Jase's blood pressure, listened to his heartbeat, and looked into his ears and eyes. "Um, about ten."

"Okay," she said, noting Emma's answer on Jase's chart. "And how about gums? Any bleeding when Jase brushes his teeth?"

Emma swallowed. "Sometimes."

"Okay," the doctor said once again, making another note. "Any flus lately or colds?"

Emma shook her head. "He's been relatively healthy. The last cold he's had was probably over eight months ago."

"Okay. And when you blow your nose, Jase, do you blow it really hard?"

Jase looked at his mother before shaking his head. "I only wipe. Mommy helps me blow."

The doctor smiled at Jase, reaching into her white laboratory coat and pulling out a lollipop. She offered it to Jase with a smile. Jase looked at Emma, silently begging for permission to eat it right away. Emma nodded her head, turning her attention back to the doctor.

"Nosebleeds can be common. But I would like to run some blood work just to check for things like anaemia and low blood count. Jase, would it be okay if you went downstairs and gave some blood to Nurse Nancy?"

Jase made a face and looked at Emma. "Do I have to?"

Emma smiled at her son, gathering his jacket and her purse. She took the forms from Dr. Levy. As she and Jase made their way down the stairs to the first level of the building, Emma tried to tell herself that this was all typical of having a child. Children get sick. Anaemia? Low blood count? Those sounded harmless. Emma could deal with those.

ONE WEEK LATER...

Emma had been told to come back to the doctor's office. Jase's blood work was back and Dr. Levy wanted to see her. Emma's heart was beating wildly in her chest as she followed the nurse to the waiting room. It wasn't the usual examining room Emma was used to taking Jase into. This was Dr. Levy's personal office. These walls had probably heard their share of bad news. They whispered to Emma as she waited, telling her that something was very, very wrong.

Dr. Levy came through the door, removed her white coat, hanging it up on a silver hook behind her closed wooden door. She held Jase's file in her hands, as she sat, not behind her desk, but in the empty chair, beside Emma.

She sighed before beginning, telling Emma that her suspicions were probably true. "Jase's blood work came back. Emma, his white blood count is extremely low."

Emma swallowed. "Okay. So how do we help it get higher?"

Dr. Levy leaned forward, taking Emma's hand in hers. "Emma, Jase has an advanced case of leukaemia. I am so sorry."

Emma lowered her chin to her chest, allowing herself to give over to the pain of this situation. She'd known. She'd known, while others told her he was fine. She'd known that her son was ill. But why? Why was this happening? After everything she had gone through to raise him on her own. Why would God choose to do this to her now?

"I know what you must be thinking, Emma."

"That I don't know if my heart is strong enough to take that loss," she stated simply. She sniffed back her tears and asked, "Chemo?"

"Normally, yes. Chemotherapy is the normal course of action. But not in Jase's case. His best chance is drug therapy and a bone marrow transplant," the doctor explained. "And the faster, the better. You'll need to pull yourself together and contact every member of your family. Your best chance at finding a matching donor will be someone from the same bloodline."

Emma nodded her head. "I'll be tested right away. I'll phone my mother and have her and Jack tested, along with my grandmother. I'll even get in touch with my real father and his family if possible. I'll do whatever it takes to get this sorted out."

Dr. Levy suddenly looked nervous as she said, "I know that Jase's father is not in his life. But for the sake of finding a match, you may want to contact him. Having him and his family tested doubles Jase's chance of a positive match."

One hour later, after having cried mercilessly in Dr. Levy's office, after receiving more information than she could possibly process, Emma sat in her car, thinking over her present situation. Jase would need to go to the Sick Kid's Hospital in Toronto for the transplant. They'd have to go back to the city they had avoided for all of Jase's life.

But Emma realized that she'd do just about anything to save her son's life, even if that meant reaching out to his father...

**How will the first face-to-face between Jay and Emma be? What will Jay's reaction be when he finds out that Emma has kept him from his child for the last four years? Keep reading...**


	10. The Truth Comes Out

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"You've got the house and everything in it. You've taken the cars and the investments. For two years of unholy matrimony, that seems like more than enough, don't ya think?" Jay asked sarcastically.

"I'm not arguing this with you anymore, Jay. You can have your lawyer talk to mine. I deserve to live the same way I've become accustomed to living. If that means you owe me alimony, then so be it," she quipped, before hanging up the phone with a loud bang.

Jay closed his eyes tightly. He slammed the phone down onto its cradle. "Dammit!" he yelled, his voice echoing through the small office.

Spinner appeared at the office door. "How's the wife?" he asked with a smirk.

Jay shot Spinner a dirty look. "Soon-to-be-ex is nothing more than a greedy bitch! Two miserable years together and she seems to think she deserves to live in the lap of luxury, on my dough! Tell me why I got married in the first place?"

Spinner decided that question was better left unanswered. Jay didn't want his opinion and Spinner didn't exactly feel comfortable giving it.

Jay raised an eyebrow at his friend. Spinner was his employee, but also his comrade. Since Jay had purchased Tony's garage, some three years ago, Spinner had not only been a faithful employee, but also a business partner. Jay gave his friend a small percentage of the business and paid him a substantial wage. The setup worked well for both. And they often found themselves working side-by-side, just like before, under some customer's car.

"I need a vacation!" Jay moaned, laying his head on the top of his desk.

Spinner laughed, turning to get back to work. He saw her long, lean legs before her face. His eyes trailed over her body, finally landing on the familiar visage. Emma Nelson.

His face broke into a smile. "Miss Nelson!" Spinner said, slowly walking over to her. "Never thought I'd see you in this greasy pit again."

Emma smiled at Spinner, her first genuine smile in what seemed like forever. She felt like she'd aged twenty years over the past week. This was the last place she'd ever thought she'd be coming to. But when no one in her entire family turned out to be a match for Jase, she had no other choice than to throw herself at the mercy of Jay Hogart. The things you do for your children!

"Well don't just stand there! Get over here and give Spinner some love!" he joked, grabbing her small frame as she approached him, and hugging her.

When Spinner finally placed her back on the ground, Emma smoothed the front of her skirt and pulled her top back into place. "Is Jay working?"

Spinner's face broke into a sly smile. "Here to repeat a little history?"

"No. Just wanted to say hi. Is he here?"

Spinner pointed to Jay's office. Emma shot him a questioning look. "Jay owns the place now."

Emma was impressed. Jay had always wanted to own his own business, but Emma had never thought it possible. What bank would give a high school dropout that kind of money?

Spinner lead Emma over to Jay's office, pushing her through the open doorway, as he turned to head back to his work. Emma stood there, silently watching Jay. His head was laying on the large, wood desk. He didn't move an inch and Emma wondered if maybe he'd stopped breathing.

"Jay?" she asked, slowly stepping through the doorway and into the cluttered office.

His head flew up so fast that he hurt his neck, grabbing the back of it with his hand and grimacing. His eyes grew large as he took in the vision in front of him. "Emma."

She smiled and stepped forward some more, approaching the desk. "Hi. Long time."

Jay's face broke into a huge smile. He got up from his seat, still grinning as he took Emma's body into his arms, squeezing her tightly. "Too long," he whispered. He let her go, holding her at arms' length. "Looking good, as always. What brings you to the dark side of things?"

Emma removed herself from Jay's outstretched hands. She walked around the small office, absorbing the fact that Jay was doing exactly what he had always wanted to do. And here she was, about to ruin it all. That fact alone made her want to turn and flee; back to her mother's house, back to Montreal. But Jase was worth so much more than Emma's stupid pride or Jay's dreams.

She swung around and met Jay's eyes. "I have a favour to ask of you."

Jay raised an eyebrow, his thoughts turning dirty as he remembered the last time she had asked a favour of him. "Name it."

Emma walked past him, taking a seat and gesturing for him to do the same. "You should probably have a seat."

Jay sat down, worried about where this was headed. Why on Earth was she here, after having fled out of his life almost five years earlier? And what favour could she possibly be asking, now, of him?

Emma took the framed photograph from Jay's desk. A wedding picture? He was married? Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated. "You're married?"

Jay took the photo from her hands, placing it, face down, onto his desk. "Soon to be divorced. You?"

"Engaged," Emma smiled, holding up her hand to reveal the giant rock that Jimmy had placed there months ago. "Happy?"

Jay shrugged. "What's happiness anyway? You?"

"Yes. Very much. Or at least I was. And that's actually what brings me here. So instead of beating around the bush, I'll be direct. I need your help," she confessed.

"What can I do?"

Emma took a deep breath. _Like a Bandaid, Emma. Pull it off, one clean sweep!_ "I need your bone marrow."

Jay coughed. "You need my what?"

"I need to know if your bone marrow is a match. It's just a simple blood test. It won't take more than five minutes of your time. Please?"

"Okay, okay. Slow down. Start at the beginning and remember to dumb it down as much as you can."

"I have a son," she announced. "And so do you."

Jay was thankful that he was sitting because he felt the muscles in his legs go lax. He stared at Emma, the girl he had mourned over for months after her departure. He hadn't been man enough to chase after her, to beg for her forgiveness. And now here she was, in his office, telling him that he had a child?

"I don't understand."

"When I left, for Montreal, I was pregnant. I had a baby. And it's yours."

Jay got to his feet, feeling his strength coming back and his anger rising. He paced the small room several times before finally stopping, staring down at Emma, and demanding, "Explain. Now."

"I came to tell you that I was pregnant. That day? Right here? I was excited to tell you, but then I heard you say that you didn't want to be my boyfriend and you certainly didn't want to be a father. So I made up some story about leaving Toronto. Then I got back to my apartment, called my boss, begged for the opportunity to transfer to Montreal, and then I left."

"With my kid?" Jay asked. But he gave her no time to answer. Instead he accused, "How could you leave and just not tell me? The deal was that you would tell me."

"The deal was that you wouldn't have anything to do with the child. I kept my end of the bargain," she told him point blank. "You can't be mad. You made the rules in the first place."

Jay swallowed down his anger, but gave Emma an icy glare. "Things changed and you know it."

"Not according to you. I thought they had, but then I heard your little speech to Spinner and it became obvious that you weren't who I thought you were," she admitted.

"I got nervous and scared, okay? I was young and stupid, but that still doesn't give you the right to move away with my kid and not even give me the courtesy of deciding for myself whether I wanted the role of father or not," Jay defended.

Emma knew exactly what Jay was saying. She'd thought that herself for the first few months of Jase's life. In fact, she'd never admit this, but once, when Jase was only two months old, Emma had called Jay, late one night, determined to end her silence and tell him the truth. As soon as he'd picked up the phone, she'd hung up, too scared of what he would say.

"Emma?" Jay asked. "Why now?"

Tears came to Emma's eyes. "He's sick, Jay. He has cancer and you may be his only hope."

The news hit Jay like a ton of bricks. He felt weak, helpless, his anger dissipating in place of fear. "I'll do whatever I can. You know that I will. But I want to know..."

Emma heard his voice trail off and realized that he was choked up. They had gotten together, bonding over the grief of Sean's death. She didn't know very much right now, but Emma did know that she didn't want to regain a relationship with Jay while bonding over the death of their son.

"I want to know everything," Jay finished.

And so Emma began. She told Jay everything she could about Jase, hoping that it would quench his thirst for knowledge of his son. But, sadly, Emma had something else on her mind; keeping Jay at arms-length and as far away from Jay as she could keep him.

Jay, on the other hand, was immediately intrigued by the idea that there was someone else out there, someone who shared his genes. He could spend his time being angry at Emma for having kept the boy from him or he could try to move forward.

"What's his name?" Jay asked, realizing that Emma had left that piece of information out of her story.

Emma wanted to leave out as much personal information as she could. She wanted Jay to help her son, but that was it. Jase didn't belong to Jay.

Taking a deep breath, Emma offered, "Jase Maddox Nelson."

Jay smiled. "Jase. And he's four?"

Emma nodded. "Just started school. But the truth is, Jay, I don't have a lot of time to talk. If we go now, you can get tested before the end of the day. They'll be able to tell us by tomorrow if you're a match. Can we please go?"

Jay nodded his head, standing and grabbing his coat. "Where is he right now?"

"At my mom's," Emma muttered.

"Can I meet him?" Jay asked.

Emma shook her head. "His life is so complicated right now. The last thing I want to do is to make it more complicated. I wouldn't know what to tell him."

"That I'm a friend," Jay suggested. "Tell him I'm an old friend. It's not like you have to introduce me as daddy or anything. Who does he think is his dad anyway? What have you told him?"

Emma blushed, already feeling ashamed over her lie. But Jay at least deserved to know what Jase had been told. "I told him that his dad died."

"You killed me off, Nelson?" Jay asked, taken aback. "Nice. How did I die?"

"I told him that his father died fighting for his country," she confessed, blushing profusely.

Jay's mouth hung open. "You told him that Sean was his father?" When Emma nodded her head, but refused to meet Jay's eyes, he yelled, "How the hell are you going to explain to him that his so-called 'father' died before he was even conceived?"

"I thought it was easier to explain that to him than that his real father didn't want him!" Emma yelled back.

Jay approached her, never remembering a time when he'd been this angry with one person. "That's not fair! I didn't even know he existed!"

"HEY!" came Spinner's scream, followed by a loud, high-pitched whistle. "WOULD YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN AND TRY TO REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE CUSTOMERS?"

Jay watched Spinner close his office door and turned to Emma. His voice was quieter now, but by no means calmer. "Let's just go to the hospital. And then we'll go to your mom's house. I think it's time that I met my son!"

**Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Please keep reading...things are about to get a whole lot more interesting...**

**Please read and review!**


	11. The First Meeting

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Sorry for the delay in updating. I've been working on two other stories, whose ideas have just popped into my head. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Jay meets Jase for the first time.**

"Not a word, okay?" Emma warned.

Jay gave her a look, but nodded his head in agreement. "My lips are sealed, alright? I won't tell the kid who I am."

"And no provoking Snake."

"Fine! Way to take the fun out of everything!"

Emma opened her front door quietly, hoping to find the door locked and an empty house. No such luck. Things would be so much easier then. But how could she deny Jay when he could possibly be the only hope for her son's survival? And maybe the visit wouldn't be that bad. Jase was only four, he could forget all about meeting Jay and never mention it again.

"Em? Is that you? Did you talk to Ja..."

Spike stopped her questioning, meeting Emma at the front door, and seeing Jay trailing in behind her. She gave Emma a look, internally wondering why Jay was standing in her home. He'd not only denied his son for the last four years, but Spike felt sure he was the real reason for Emma's abrupt departure from Toronto.

"Ms. Nelson," Jay muttered, greeting Spike with a curt nod of his head.

"Jay," Spike spat, still looking at her daughter. "Emma? Can I see you in the kitchen for a second?"

Emma pointed to the couch, motioning for Jay to sit, and followed her mother into their kitchen. "I know what you're going to say, so save your breath. He has a right to at least see him."

"You are so lucky that your father is not here right now! Jay should have seen him years ago, Emma! But that's beside the point here! How on Earth are you going to explain this to Jase? He's going through enough as it is. Adding a quasi-father to the mix? He doesn't need Jay."

Emma pressed her lips together tightly. She leaned back until her bottom hit the edge of the counter. Sighing heavily, she noted, "If Jay's bone marrow is a match for Jase's, it could save his life. And Jay offered to do it without a second thought. How was I supposed to tell him that he couldn't see Jase?"

"The same way he denied helping out when you found out that you were pregnant!" Spike yelled.

Jay suddenly appeared in the entry to the kitchen. His face registered anger, as he looked at Emma, waiting for her to defend him. When a stunned Emma refused to utter a word, Jay looked at Spike pointedly and said, "I never denied helping out. I was never given the chance."

Spike huffed, rolling her eyes. "A little late for explanations now, don't you think? Where were you four years ago?"

"In the dark apparently," Jay answered. He turned to Emma and asked, "Don't you think it's time you fessed up?"

"Emma?" Spike asked.

Emma looked from Jay to Spike and then to the ceiling. "Fine!" she yelled. "Mom, where is Jase?"

"Upstairs with Jack. What's going on here, Emma?" Spike questioned.

"Jay, you can go upstairs and see Jase. I'll be up in a few minutes, after I finish talking with my mother."

Jay nodded his head, shoving his hands into his pockets, and turning on his heels to walk away.

EMMA'S AND SPIKE'S CONVERSATION:

Emma sat across the table from her mother, staring absently over her head, out the small, curtained window and into their backyard. She was focusing on nothing in particular, just trying to find the right words to tell her mother, the woman who had dropped everything to come to Emma's side when she needed her the most. How do you confess to a woman sworn to love you regardless of your flaws, that you are, in fact, a liar?

"Emma?" Spike pushed, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay. I need you to be understanding over judgemental, please. Remember that in my short lifetime, I've gone through a lot of heartbreak and maybe it's left my moral compass slightly off."

"Emma, get on with it."

Emma nodded her head. "I never told Jay about Jase."

"No one expected you to. He blew you off, Em. It's his fault he doesn't know about his son," Spike soothed.

Emma shook her head, knowing that her mother would always try to see her as being the victim, especially since it was a role Emma tended to play so well.

"I mean I never even told him that I was pregnant," Emma confessed, ashamed and unable to look her mother in the eye. "I was hurt that he didn't want to be with me and I tried to convince myself that he really didn't want a child in the first place. So I left and never told him. He just found out about Jase today, when I threw myself at his feet and begged for his help."

"Start at the beginning," Spike demanded, her face stony.

Emma sighed. "I asked Jay to be a donor because I wanted to have a baby," she paused, letting the information that was all new and surprising sink into her mother's head. When Spike's look of shock failed to dissipate, Emma continued. "We agreed that there would never be anything between Jay and I. And I didn't want him to be a father, just a donor. But the months went by and we started to grow closer. I didn't want to admit it, but I think that, maybe, I fell in love with him. And I guess the thought of not only being my boyfriend, but also being a father, well it scared Jay. I thought that if I just disappeared it would be easier for everyone."

Spike stood, pacing the small kitchen. "Easier for who? You? You who were so scared those first few months? You who blamed Jay for leaving you pregnant and alone? Jay who never knew he had a child and has missed out on his son's first four years? And what about that poor, precious little boy? He thinks that his father died! How are you going to tell him about Jay?"

Emma rose. "I'm not. Jay has no part is Jase's life. When everything is settled with this illness, Jase and I will go back to Montreal. I'll marry Jimmy, he'll adopt Jase, and everything will go back to normal."

Emma didn't wait for her mother's backlash. The last thing she wanted was to hear another 'Emma-you're-deluded' speech. She headed out of the kitchen, climbing the stairs.

JAY AND JASE MEET (Taking place at relatively the same time as Emma and Spike's talk...)

Jay stopped at the top of the stairs, taking a deep breath and letting it out. He was about to meet his son. He had a son? How had this happened? Just this morning Jay had woken up alone, in his one bedroom, undecorated apartment, pondering on why his life was so empty. And now there was a child. But was this a blessing or a nightmare?

Jay knocked lightly on the open door of what he guessed was Jack's room. Jack, who appeared to be somewhere between a child and teen, was sprawled on the floor beside a smaller boy, the two engulfed in some type of video game.

"Can I come in?" Jay asked, scared to death of the two youngsters. "I'm a friend of Emma's."

Jack simply nodded his head, feigning indifference. Jase, peeked around Jack's frame, smiling at Jay. "Emma's my mommy."

Jay tried to move, but he was struck. How could Emma keep him from his son who was so obviously a Hogart any one with half a brain would know that it was his son. The small boy had Jay's dark locks, messy, but coiffed, as well as Jay's heart-stopping eyes. But the thing Jay noticed immediately was the smirk; Jase's mouth curved into Jay's own signature smirk perfectly.

"Wanna come in?" Jase asked, motioning for Jay to come sit beside him.

"Only if Jack says it's okay. This is his room, right? A man's room is like his fortress of solitude," Jay commented, winking at Jack.

Jack smiled widely at Jay. "You like Superman?"

"Who doesn't?" Jay asked, entering the room to sit between the two boys.

"I have the Superman game!" Jack exclaimed, grabbing it and showing Jay his prize possession. "Wanna play?"

"I don't know that one!" Jase whined.

Jay turned to Jase and said, "I don't know that one either. Wanna help me? You could be my partner?"

Jase's face broke into a smile. "Okay!"

Before Jay knew what was happening, Jase was sitting in his lap. Jack started the game and even with Jase's help, Jay still lost. But he was having a great time, sitting with these two boys. In a way, Jay was like a child himself, mature in some areas, but totally insecure and immature in others.

Emma stood in the doorway watching her son sitting in Jay's lap. Jase, mini-Jay, was eating up everything the older man was saying. _He idolizes him already and he has no idea who he even is. _

"Okay, boys!" Emma called. The three looked up at her. "Supper is almost ready. Jack, can you take Jase into the bathroom and get him washed up before we eat?"

Jack nodded his head unenthusiastically, getting to his feet. Jase followed his uncle out of the room, but stopped to tug on Emma's pant leg.

"Honey?"

"Mommy, can Jay stay for supper too? I really like him."

Emma smiled at her son, shooing him away. She turned to Jay and said, "Okay. Well I guess you should get going."

Jay stood there, adjusting his hat. "No supper for Jay?"

"The deal was that you get to meet him. No more. Time for Jay to go home."

"Mommy!" Jase yelled. "Can he stay? Pleeease!!"

"Jase, honey, Jay has to get home. He's busy. Right, Jay?" Emma asked, shooting Jay a look of warning.

"Well I was, but that was before I made a new friend. I don't know. Jase? What do you think? Should I stay?" Jay asked, smiling widely.

Jase, jumping up and down, yelled, "Yes! Come on, Jay! We're having Grandma's veggie lasagna!!"

Jay grinned at Emma, sneaking past her, and holding Jase's hand as they went down the stairs.

**Please read and review!**


	12. Stolen Kisses

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except for my own ideas...**

Dinner wasn't all that bad. Jase continued to fawn all over Jay, his adoration obvious to everyone sitting at the table. Spike thought it was great, almost like Jase instinctively knew that Jay was his father without ever having to be told. Jack liked the idea of Jay being around because, 'No one around here digs Superman'. Snake would probably be a little more cynical, unable to truly believe that Jay would ever be the 'fatherly' type. But, lucky for everyone there, Snake was not. Emma was too filled with fear to even take it all in. Her secrets were one-by-one coming unravelled right before her eyes and if things didn't get resolved soon, Emma stood to lose everything that was dear to her.

"I don't know, Em," Spike noted, scrubbing the lasagna pan in her hands. "Jay seems ecstatic about the idea of Jase being his. He was hanging on Jase's every word at supper. Maybe giving him the chance to be in Jase's life isn't such a bad thing after all."

Emma rolled her eyes, stepping away from the sink as she dried a plate, to peek in on Jay and Jase in the living room. They were wrestling on the floor, with Jack as referee, just itching to get into the action himself. Emma sighed and stepped back to the sink.

"It's easy to think you can be a parent when things are fun. But Jay doesn't strike me as the type to be in it for the long haul," Emma explained. She shook her head. "What am I saying? It doesn't matter what kind of a father Jay _could_ be, because he's never going to get the chance to find out. Jase already has someone who's ready and willing and dependable, who's just dying to be his dad."

Spike looked at Emma and smiled. "Honey, you know that I love Jimmy and think he'd be a great dad for Jase. It's amazing that Jimmy's willing to adopt Jase and raise him as his own. Not many men would do that. But still, Jimmy can't take the place of Jase's real father."

"Being a father is about more than DNA. Jimmy's been there through every step."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Jay might have been too...if you'd given him the chance."

Emma dropped her dish towel, leaving the drying and the kitchen, to head into the living room and break up the chaos taking place there. Really she just wanted to escape from her mother's sensible arguments. She couldn't fight her way out of the truth and the truth was that Emma had purposely kept Jay out of Jase's life.

Emma found Jay with Jase under one arm and Jack under the other. All three were laughing, but Jase's excitement could be heard over everyone. Emma leaned against the wall, quietly observing the three. Jase was having so much fun and Emma suddenly realized that her son had missed out on the whole rough-housing thing. Moms just don't do it quite like dads, and with Jimmy's disability, getting down on the floor to wrestle was just not an option.

"Okay you guys!" Emma called above the noise. "Jase, it's time to get ready for your bath. Jack, would you take Jase upstairs and help him pick out some jammies?"

Jack nodded. Jase pouted. "Mommy? Can Jay come back tomorrow?"

All three boys looked hopefully up at Emma. She shrugged, not wanting to break any promises to Jase. "We'll see. Now say goodbye to Jay and upstairs you go. I'll be up in a few minutes."

Emma watched, her heart feeling light, as Jase went over to Jay and threw his arms around a stunned Jay's neck. Small children have a way of putting aside their inhibitions and revealing the most tender of emotions. The unabashed hug that Jase bestowed upon Jay told everyone just how much the small boy liked his newfound friend. Jay took hold of the small figure and hugged him with everything he had. When they separated, Jase smiled at Jay and skipped up the stairs with Jack following behind.

Jay got to his feet, still looking at the stairs, even though Jase had already disappeared out of sight. "He's an amazing kid, Em. You've done a real great job."

Emma walked into the living room, returning Jay's smile. She sat down on the edge of the sofa and explained, "He has his moments. You haven't seen his stubborn side."

Jay joined Emma on the couch and smirked. "That runs in the Hogart family. I mean it, Emma, he's really a great kid. So smart and funny. He cracks me up! I know that it must have been hard doing it on your own, but you have done a super job. You should be really proud!"

"I actually am. He's my greatest accomplishment. I just hope that he's going to be okay," she said, letting her voice trail off.

Jay placed his hand over Emma's. She was touched by his caring and allowed his hand to rest over hers for what was probably longer than appropriate. The silence in the room became unbearable, but neither Jay nor Emma knew what to say.

In the end, it was Jay who finally broke the silence. "I'd give everything I have to be a match for him. I mean that."

It was Emma who chose to comfort Jay this time. With tears in her eyes, Emma placed a hand on Jay's shoulder. He looked at Emma, with a vulnerability that shook her to her very core. And then both were leaning toward each other, allowing their lips to indulge in a tender reunion too long in the making.

Emma suddenly pulled away and got to her feet. "You should go."

Jay stood as well, rubbing a thumb over his bottom lip. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Please don't think..."

"I don't," Emma interrupted, heading out of the room, toward the entrance.

Jay took the hint and opened the door. He turned back to Emma and asked, "You'll let me know as soon as the hospital calls?"

Emma nodded. "Of course, but you know, the hospital will call you."

"I know. I just... Please call me, okay?" he asked, almost begging Emma for the small courtesy.

"I promise. We should hear something tomorrow."

Jay took a deep breath. "If, um, if I'm not, I'll call my family."

Emma didn't know a lot about Jay's family, but he had told her a bit. She knew that his real mother had died and his father, now remarried for a third or fourth time, was not a part of Jay's life. For him to volunteer to have his family tested, having not only to speak to a man he had avoided for years, but also to reveal the truth about Jase, was something Emma felt proud of Jay for offering to do.

"You'd do that?" Emma asked.

Jay nodded his head. "I'd do it if it meant a chance to help my son."

Emma knew that Jay was sounding more and more into the idea of being a father, but she allowed him this one slip, knowing that it was coming from a good place.

They said their quick goodbyes, avoiding any type of physical contact, and separated with the promise to talk soon. Emma shut the door and leaned back against it. Of everything chaotic going on in her life, Emma's mind was stuck on that kiss between her and Jay. She gingerly touched her lips, remembering the feel of Jay's lips on hers just moments before. They had always had the kind of chemistry that made simple things like stolen kisses seem like a full session of love making. And some things, especially the best of things, never change...

**And we all know that kisses between old flames aren't so easily forgotten...**


	13. Waiting, But For What?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Sorry for the huge delay. I'm taking an online course right now and trying to balance everything else out. There will be two chapters in this update and hopefully more to follow soon! Enjoy!**

Jay lay on the gurney, staring up at the ceiling, wondering why no one was coming for him. The hospital gown was drafty and the blanket he was given was making him itch. He sat up, trying to peer out the door to see where the good looking nurse had gone.

Emma's face appeared in the doorway. She looked stressed out, but beautiful, and Jay suddenly realized that his heart was racing. He offered her a small smile and asked, "Am I dead or something? Because I've been here forever, waiting. If I died on that table, just tell me now so I can stop expecting them to come take me into surgery."

Emma's face remained stony as she approached his bed, taking a seat beside him. "That's not funny."

He lay back down, turning his head in Emma's direction. "Not like you'd care, right?"

She squinted her eyes, staring him down. "You really think I could ever not care if something happened to you?"

She meant it as a rhetorical question, so Jay left it unanswered. He swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. "Can you get me a glass of water?"

Emma shook her head. "No fluids before surgery, but nice try. You use that look on all of those nurses too? Must be fawning all over you."

Jay smirked. He shrugged nonchalantly. "It's a gift. How's the little man?"

Tears popped into Emma's eyes at the mere mention of her son. His small body looked even smaller in that big hospital bed. She had remained strong for him, but now, here in front of Jay, Emma hung her head and let her worries pour out. She sobbed openly, while Jay held her hand, wishing he could get up out of this bed to hold her in his arms.

She finally looked up at Jay, eyes flooded with tears, cheeks stained from those already shed, and asked, "What if something happens to him? What if this doesn't work? I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. He's everything to me."

Jay swallowed back his own tears. He'd been having the same thoughts. Jay worried that his bone marrow wouldn't work on Jase, that even after the transfusion, Jase would continue to be sick and there wouldn't be anything anyone could do for him. But Jay also worried about the procedure working. He hated to admit it, but if everything went well, if Jase went into remission, he would leave and Jay wouldn't get to be in his life. Selfishly, Jay wished that Jase and Emma could stay in Toronto longer. He wanted, he need more time with both of them.

Jase and Emma had only been here for a week, but Jay had spent every day with them. They went for walks, played in parks, visited Jay's garage (Jase had an uncanny interest in cars), and just hung out. Jay was addicted to spending time getting to know his son, and Jase had taken an immediate liking to his father. But the fact that Jay was never able to reveal himself, made him feel cheated. He needed more time, time to convince Emma that he could and should be a regular part of Jase's life.

"I want to thank you," Emma suddenly said, interrupting Jay's private thoughts. "You didn't have to..."

Jay held up a hand, blocking the rest of Emma's words. "He's my son, Em. You honestly thought I'd say no? I guess you really don't think very much of me, do you?"

Emma shook her head. "I think the world of you, Jayson Hogart! Don't you ever think any different. It's just that I've been horrible to you. I've lied and made you out to be some kind of uncaring guy, when the truth is that you're a stand up man."

Jay stared at her, his mouth gaping. Emma Nelson thinks the world of Jay Hogart? He was speechless!

"Oh don't look so surprised! The last time we saw each other, you knew that I was heartbroken. I wouldn't have felt that way if I didn't care about you," she admitted with a smile.

"Heartbroken? I broke your heart?" he asked innocently.

Emma nodded her head slowly. "I was in love with you, Jay. I didn't think it would happen, not after Sean, but it sort of snuck up on me."

"I'm...I was...in love with you too," Jay confessed, taking Emma's hand in his.

The two sat there, holding hands, staring at each other. Emma looked down and saw her engagement ring, reminding her that Jimmy was still a factor, and a pretty big one at that. She had managed to put Jimmy off from coming, given that he was still out of the country on business. The last thing she needed was...

"Emma?"

Emma swung her head around and came face to face with Jimmy Brooks, who sat there, staring at his fiancee, holding hands with Jay Hogart.

**Hope you're interested to see how Jimmy reacts to the news...**


	14. Jimmy's Out

"You should have told me, Emma!" Jimmy yelled.

Emma sat down beside Jimmy's chair and tried to get him to look at her. When she realized that it was a futile effort, she stopped, and tried to explain her way out of this. "Jimmy? I know that you're mad, but please, let me explain."

"Explain what? How you lied to me about Jase's father? You told me you went to a sperm bank! I didn't know that meant the bank of Hogart! You should have told me, from the start!" he stated flatly.

"And I wanted to, but I knew how you felt about Jay."

"You mean the guy who helped to put me in this chair? The guy who got me shot and then moved about his life, without a second glance back at me, whose life he destroyed? He's an arrogant, smart ass! I can't believe you let yourself get knocked up by that snake!"

Emma shook her head, not knowing what to say. Once again, her lies were coming back to haunt her. She hadn't meant to lie to Jimmy, but when she met him, five months after Jase was born, she just wanted a friend. Telling him that she had wanted a baby so much and went to a sperm bank to get it, was just the easier choice. When things became romantic between the two, Emma had just avoided the topic altogether. Jimmy wanted to adopt Jase and that was all that mattered. Biology be damned!

"You didn't, like, plan to get pregnant, did you?" Jimmy asked.

Emma met his eyes and the truth was written there, for all the world to see. She watched as Jimmy's face fell. His disappointment in her was evident.

"I asked Jay to be a donor and that's it."

"So you slept with him to get his sperm and that's it? You weren't 'involved' with him?"

Emma closed her eyes and sighed. "I fell in love with him. But he didn't love me back and he didn't want to be a father. So I left Toronto. Jase is my son, not Jay's. And soon he'll be your's too."

Jimmy shook his head. "You expect me to still go through with the adoption, knowing that it's Hogart's son I'd be raising?"

"I don't see how that has any bearing on this. You love Jase! You've been in his life practically since birth! You'd walk away now, just because Jase's DNA is tied to Jay? How could you do that?" Emma asked.

Jimmy sighed, but his face remained impassive. Emma continued to stare at the man she loved, waiting for him to tell her that everything was going to be okay. But he said nothing, causing Emma to worry, but to also get angry. Jimmy had no right, now of all times, to be so judgemental. She had made a huge mistake, but taking that out on Jase? It was unforgivable.

"Emma, honey?" Spike called. "The doctor wants to take Jase in now. You wanna come see him before the surgery? Jimmy?"

Emma gave her mother a curt nod and got to her feet. Spike, sensing that something was awry with her daughter and her fiance, left the waiting area, heading back to Jase's room.

Emma turned to Jimmy. "Are you coming?"

Jimmy sighed. "Don't tell him that I was here."

"You _were_ here?"

"I thought that I was needed here, but apparently I'm not."

"So that's it?" Emma asked.

Jimmy nodded his head. "I'll try to make things as smooth as possible for Jase."

Emma stepped in front of Jimmy. "As smooth as possible would be for you to put aside your silly pride and come into that room with me. Wish our son a safe surgery. Hold my hand while I wait for news. Come into that room with me when Jase comes out of surgery. Be there for him, for our son."

Jimmy shook his head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"So am I," Emma whispered.

She turned to walk away and then came back, removing her diamond ring from her finger and placing it in Jimmy's hand. "If you can't love my son then you can't love me," she said through tears, before walking away.

**Where will this leave Emma? Will the surgery work? Will Jay be able to help save Jase's life? Will Emma let Jay be involved with his son? Keep reading to find out! **

**R&R!!**


	15. Time to See Jase

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry to all those readers for the huge delay! I've been super busy and just never got around to posting. The story is complete and I will be posting the rest of the chapters together. I hope everyone remembers the story and reads!**

Jay gave a pained expression as he tried to readjust his body in the uncomfortable hospital bed. His entire body was aching, stemming from his right hipbone where the doctors had removed his morrow. Upon waking, he shifted restlessly, trying to find a comfortable position.

"You shouldn't move around so much. It'll just hurt more," Emma said flatly.

Jay turned his head, unaware that she was even in the room. She sat there, looking tired, beside his bed. A magazine lay, unopened, on her lap. A cup of coffee sat in her hand, but she paid it no attention. She stared at Jay, wide-eyed, her face expressionless. Fear hit him hard as he asked, "Jase?"

Emma shrugged. "He's in the ICU right now. He's basically in a protective bubble for the next few hours."

"But he's going to be okay?" Jay asked, holding his breath.

"It's too soon. The operation went very well. But we have to wait for a while to know for sure. How are you? Do you need anything?" she asked.

Jay was concerned about his son, but he also knew that something was wrong with Emma. "I'm fine. A little sore, but I'll live. You?"

Emma shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Then maybe you should go and be with Jimmy... your fiance."

Emma's eyes met Jay's. If he was trying to call her out, he'd accomplished his goal. Unfortunately, Emma was in no mood to spar with Jay. She remained silent, staring him down.

"So how long has Jimmy been acting as father to my son?" Jay asked. Emma said nothing, but raised a brow. "I have a right to know. Jimmy's probably the only father Jase has ever known, right?"

"It doesn't matter now," Emma whispered.

This time it was Jay who was curious. "Now? Something happen?"

"Look, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I'm going to get back out into the waiting room. I want to be there when they finally tell me I can go in to see my son," Emma stated, getting to her feet and gathering her belongings.

"I want to see him," Jay said. "When he's finally allowed to have visitors, I want to see him. Will you let me know?"

Emma nodded her head once, her energy for fighting at a low level. She left the room, stopping just beyond the nurses' station to gain her composure. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She felt the tears burning behind her closed lids, but willed herself not to cry. She felt exhausted. Alone, but thankful. Not wanting to admit it, she tried to bury the feelings she had seeing Jay wince in pain as he shifted in his bed. She told herself it was gratitude, but as the tears fell down her cheeks, she knew that it was so much more.

"Miss Nelson?" came a voice behind her.

Emma turned around, brushing a hand across her eyes. She smiled slightly at the young nurse who had been watching over Jay. "You caught me," Emma whispered.

The nurse smiled. "Well I hope they're tears of happiness, because your fiance is going to be just fine."

Emma blinked. "Jay? He's not my..."

"I'm sorry!" the nurse exclaimed. "I always do things like this! It's just that he asked me to come and check on you. He seemed so concerned that I assumed you and he were... I'm so sorry!"

Emma pursed her lips and smiled. "It's okay. I guess I should go and let him know that I'm okay. I don't want him worrying for nothing."

The nurse smiled at her. Emma walked back to Jay's room. She stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching Jay struggle to get the remote control for the television. It was behind him, on the nightstand, but he was having an awful time getting to it.

"Need some help?" Emma asked with a smile.

Jay looked up, frustration written all over his face. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," she answered, walking into the room. She grabbed the remote and sat down on the chair she'd been occupying earlier. She turned on the television and flipped through the channels. She found The View and placed the remote in her lap.

Jay turned his head her way and gave Emma a look. "I'm the one recovering from surgery here. Now you're gonna make me watch a chick show? Haven't I suffered enough?"

Emma shrugged. "I suppose you wanna watch Sports Centre or something, huh? Too bad you don't have the remote."

Jay nodded his head. He leaned back against his pillows and resigned himself to the fact that it didn't matter what he was watching, but who he was watching it with. He peered over at Emma, realizing that she'd been crying earlier. "You okay?" he whispered.

"I'm getting what I deserve," she replied, not meeting his gaze. She sighed heavily, still staring at the television. "I never told Jimmy about you."

"So what did you tell him?"

Emma leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. "I told him a partial truth. I said that I wanted a baby and so I went to a sperm bank. At the time, I never thought we'd become romantic. I just wanted a friend. And then it seemed easier to live the lie rather than face the truth."

Jay rubbed his face with his hand. "Jimmy's still pissed at me for the whole Rick thing, right?"

Emma finally looked at Jay. "He's never really gotten over it. It's the same reason why he doesn't speak to Spinner."

"So what does that mean for Jase?" Jay asked.

Emma lowered her head. "Jimmy's out."

"Out? He's just gonna walk away from Jase, like he never meant anything at all?" Jay accused.

Emma's gaze met Jay's. "He's already gone. I expect him to be moved out of our place before we get back. It's not Jimmy's fault," Emma assured, seeing Jay's look. "I created this problem by not being honest. I deserve everything that's coming to me. I'm the reason why Jase won't have a father."

Jay's eye narrowed. "Jase has a father, Emma. He has me."

Emma opened her mouth to reply to Jay's statement, but her mother appeared in the doorway. "Em? Honey? The doctor says that you can come and see Jase."

Emma got to her feet without a word. Jay shifted in the bed, until he was perched on the edge, leaning forward awkwardly to grab the robe provided to him. He winced in pain. Spike moved from the doorway to get the robe for Jay. She held it up, helping him into it, while Emma stood there, like a zombie.

"Are you even allowed to get out of bed?" Emma asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"It doesn't matter. I'm going to see my son," Jay replied, challenging Emma to argue him on the point.

**Hope you enjoy! Please read and respond!**


	16. Talk to My Lawyer

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except the character of Jase...**

**Enjoy!**

"He looks so small," Jay commented, peering through the plastic at Jase, who seemed engulfed in the huge bed.

"He is small," Emma answered curtly.

Jay let the snide comment slide off his back, as he concentrated on his son. He still managed to work the room, even in a hospital gown surrounded by a bubble! Jay smirked, proud of how handsome his son was.

"I'm Dr. Andrews," came a deep voice behind them. The doctor offered his hand to Jay, introducing himself. He nodded to Emma, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. "He's doing very well. Everything is exactly where we want to see it at this point. I know that this plastic bubble is a little daunting, but it's just a precaution. His immune system will be weakened for a few days after the surgery. But, if the last few hours have been any indication, I expect Jase will make a full recovery."

"And when will we know if the cancer..." Jay let his voice trail off, his fears coming to the surface.

"It's still too soon to tell. Jase will need to have frequent appointments for at least a year. And even then, there's no guarantee that the cancer won't come back."

Jay looked at the doctor. "So Jase and his mother? They'll have to stay in Toronto for a while?"

Emma looked at Jay, hope written all across his face. She turned her attention to Dr. Andrews.

"I'm sorry to say, Mr. Hogart, but Emma and Jase can do all of their follow-up at the hospital in Montreal. Dr. Hall is a wonderful pediatrician, who specializes in child cancer cases like Jase's. Of course, Jase will need to stay here for at least a week, given that everything continues to go well. I'd give it another week before extensive travel. But you should be back home within two weeks," the doctor told them.

Jay watched the doctor walk away and turned his attention back to Jase. He didn't look at Emma as he announced, "I want to be in his life, Emma."

Emma sighed. "Not now, Jay."

Jay faced Emma, touching her shoulder with his hand. "I'm not going to be put off from this, Emma. I want to be in his life. I want him to know who I am. I want my son and I to have a relationship."

Emma's eyes met Jay's and she knew that he was being serious. "I don't want to talk about this right now. My son just got out of surgery. He may or may not be okay. How selfish can you be?"

Jay laughed sarcastically. "I'm selfish? Who's the one lying to everyone in her life?"

"Jase is my son and that won't ever change. I won't ever give him up," she vowed.

"I'm not trying to take him away from you!" Jay exclaimed. "I just want to be a part of his life. I just want him to know that he has a father who loves him."

"And how do you intend to do that when you live here and we live in Montreal?"

Jay swallowed. "I want visitation."

Emma's jaw dropped. "No!" she yelled. "No!"

Jay shook his head. "You can't deny me the right to see my son! There are laws, Emma! I have a right to visitation. Don't make me fight you on this, because I will win!"

"I hate you!" Emma spat. She lowered her voice and leaned closer to Jay. "If you ever try to take him away from me, I will bury you! Jase and I will go back to Montreal in two weeks and nothing you do will change that!"

Jay opened his mouth to protest, but Emma walked away. He looked after her, unable to believe the hatred she had just spewed, all because he wanted to step up and be a good father for Jase.

Spike walked up to Jay, her hand touching the plastic bubble. She'd been sitting back, listening to her daughter go off on Jay, not wanting to interrupt. This was, after all, between Emma and Jay. But now, with her daughter off, Spike felt comfortable approaching Jay, to try to explain where Emma was coming from.

"She doesn't mean to be so short with you," Spike told him. "She's just under a lot of pressure right now. She's worried about Jase."

"That makes two of us," Jay confessed. He turned to Spike. "He's my son. I can't turn away from him and go on with my life, as if he doesn't exist. I care about him."

Spike nodded her head. "I know and I'm thankful you do. Emma will come around, Jay. She's just reeling over her break up with Jimmy and worried about her son's health. Give her time."

Jay stepped back from the plastic. "I won't let her go back to Montreal without some kind of decision over custody. I don't want to hurt her. I care about Emma. But she walked out on me and took my son with her. I'll never get those four years back. But I will not lose any more. If Emma doesn't want to face this, to sit down with me and work this out, then she can talk to my lawyer!"

**Please R&R!!**


	17. McDonalds

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...**

**Hope you enjoy! Sorry for the short chapters.**

One week later, Jase sat in his grandma and grandpa's living room, playing on the floor, quietly, with a train set. Emma sat at the kitchen table, periodically watching him, as she discussed important things with the lawyer she had hired.

"Miss Nelson, I'm afraid this will probably work out in Jay's favour. Most judges in family court look favourably upon fathers who want to take an active role in their children's lives. On the upside, we can petition the court for back child support, for the four years he was delinquent."

"That's the upside?" Emma asked. "Look, if the judge rules in Jay's favour, what can I expect?"

"Court appointed visitation. No way around it. You would do better to work with Jay, to come to an agreement on visitation," the lawyer informed her.

Emma rubbed her temples. "So what? I'm expected to put Jase on a plane, by himself, to come visit Jay? How often?"

"That would depend on the two of you. Emma, from one mother to another, you have to face this head on. You can be angry with Jay, but that won't get you anywhere with the courts. Talk to him. Work this out together. You never know what you might face if you don't."

Emma walked her lawyer to the door, slamming the door shut behind her. In another week she was going to bring her son home, but for how long? First Jimmy and now Jase? _I'm losing everything._

"Mommy?" Jase asked.

"Yeah, honey?"

"If Jay's my daddy, why don't you want me to see him?" Jase asked, looking up at Emma.

Emma bent down to take her son into her arms. She hugged him tenderly, making sure not to squeeze too hard. When she finally let him go, she placed a kiss on the top of his head. "You don't even know Jay."

"But he's my daddy. I love him," Jase smiled.

Emma returned his smile and shooed him away. He went back to his toys, while Emma walked to the phone. She picked up the receiver and dialled Jay's cell phone.

"Yeah?" Jay asked.

"Jay? Um, it's Emma."

"I know. You think I don't know your voice?" he smirked into the phone.

She was shaking her head and then became aware that her actions were going unnoticed by an oblivious man. "I thought that maybe we should meet. You know, to talk about this whole issue."

"Oh, you mean the custody 'issue'?" Jay asked sarcastically.

Emma sighed. "I don't want to fight, but you're backing me into a corner here, Jay."

"So I should bring my lawyer to this little meeting?"

"Forget it!" Emma exclaimed. "Just forget it! We'll settle this in court."

Before Emma had a chance to hang up, Jay said, very quietly, "Emma? I'm sorry, okay? I would really like to get together and talk things through, without the lawyers. Can we do that?"

The sincerity in his voice made Emma want to believe that he was being honest with her. Her tough exterior melted away as she found herself offering, "Would you like to get together for dinner?"

Jay smiled. He closed his eyes tightly. Holding the phone loosely, he answered. "I would really like that. I can pick you up at seven?"

"I have my own car. How about we just meet at the restaurant? Where would you like to go?"

"How about good ol' McDonald's?" Jay suggested.

"You really know how to impress a girl, don't you?" she joked.

"I was thinking you could bring Jase. I miss him. He can play in the playland area while we talk. Unless you were expecting something a little more... intimate?"

He was teasing her, but Emma still found herself blushing like a little school girl. He always had that effect on her, but now things were different. She was going to have to straighten up. Letting Jay know that he could still get to her would not help her case. She swallowed down her embarrassment and said, "Can you be serious for just one minute?"

Jay sat up straighter. He could tell that she was flustered and he smiled, showing his happiness. All he had to do was get her to melt away that cold exterior and things might just work out in his favour.

"Jay?"

"Oh, uh, sorry. So, McDonald's? Seven?"

Emma smiled. She looked in on Jase. Holding the phone away from her ear, she asked, "Jase? Honey? How would you like to go to supper with Jay tonight?"

"With Daddy?" Jase yelled, hopping to his feet. "Can I, Mommy? Please?"

Emma nodded her head. She spoke into the receiver, telling Jay that they would meet him for seven. Just before she said goodbye, Jase asked, "Mommy? Can I talk to Daddy?"

Emma handed the phone to Jase. She stood in the kitchen, listening to Jase talking to Jay. He was so excited just to spend a few hours with his dad, how would he feel about only getting to see him once or twice a year? Panic hit Emma as she realized that if Jase had any say on the matter, he may choose Jay over her.

**R&R!!**


	18. Close But No Cigar

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"He's out cold," Jay whispered, coming down the stairs.

Emma looked up at Jay and smiled. "He's a great sleeper. Always has been. Slept through the night by the time he was three weeks old. Must take after you."

Jay smirked, flopping down onto the sofa. "And what do you know about my sleep habits?"

Emma raised an eyebrow, sitting down beside Jay on her mother's couch. "I seem to recall someone who slept just fine back in the day."

"That's because I was tired. Someone wore me out pretty good back then," Jay joked, flashing Emma his signature smirk.

The colour rose to Emma's cheeks before she had a chance to look away from Jay. Just the mention of their lurid past made Emma uneasy. She couldn't regret what she once had with Jay; it had given her Jase. But there was more to it than that, even if Emma didn't want to admit it.

"Did I just turn this whole evening into something really awkward?" Jay asked, staring Emma down.

Emma shifted, changing positions several times, but still feeling uncomfortable. Jay always had a way to tie her into knots with the simplest of words. Nice to see that some things never change.

"Emma?" Jay asked, noticing that Emma was avoiding looking at him. "I didn't mean to dredge up the past or anything. I was just trying to be funny. It's what I do, you know? I'm sorry."

Emma offered a crooked smile. "No matter how far I think I've come, Jay Hogart can still reduce me to a blushing school girl."

Jay shrugged. "It's a gift. With any luck, Jase will have the gene too."

"He's already enough like you, thank you very much. The first time he wore a baseball hat – I think he was, like, two – he turned it backwards and looked up at me. I was almost blown over by how much he looked like you in that moment. But it's not just how he looks, which is uncanny by the way. It's his mannerisms and his attitude and even his eating habits. He's you, Jay. Even without your presence, he's you."

Jay smiled. "Lucky kid."

Emma shook her head, using her hand to lightly shove Jay. He grabbed her hand, tugging on it gently until she was at his side. Without meaning to, or maybe completely meaning to, Jay bent his head, placing his lips softly on Emma's, tasting her fully as the kiss deepened and turned passionate.

Emma wanted to pull away, or at least that's what her brain was telling her to do. But her body was screaming a different message and it was winning out.

She pressed her body into Jay's strong chest, a low moan escaping from her throat, as Jay's lips worked their magic. Jay allowed his hands to rush through Emma's luxurious hair, remembering its texture and how great it felt to bury his face in its length.

When they finally pulled apart, both were breathless and wanting more. "Making out on Simpson's couch was okay for high school, but can we find somewhere else to take this to?" Jay asked, smirking at Emma.

Emma smoothed the front of her top down and returned Jay's smile. "We could go down to my room?"

"Lead the way, Princess."

Emma felt just like a teenager, leading the first boy down to her makeshift bedroom. She was nervous and excited all at once, wondering if making love with Jay today would be the same as it had once been. Jay held her hand as they made their way down the still rickety stairs. It felt warm and Emma blushed thinking of the pleasure his hands had once brought to her.

As they approached the bed, Jay, biting into his bottom lip, smiled at Emma. "I want you to know how great this is. You. Me. Jase. I finally get to be with my boy."

Jay's words seemed innocent enough, but something went off in Emma's head and she stopped moving. Jay gave her a questioning look, but Emma turned around, hiding her face from the one man who could read her like a book.

"Emma? Is something wrong?" Jay asked, coming up behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders.

Emma turned around, her face remaining stony. "I almost fell for it."

"Fell for what?"

"Your trick. You thought if you romanced me, I'd roll over and hand you Jase. Well that's not going to happen. Not now, not ever."

Jay stepped back. "Are you crazy? You think I'd use you to get to my son? I don't have to do that! I'll get visitation rights, Emma. Jase is my son. The court will award me joint custody. Nothing you say or do will change that. So kissing you, it has nothing to do with Jase. I kissed you because I still love you."

Emma wanted to believe his words. God knows she would have loved it to be true. But her fear overtook her. Jase was all she had. Losing him to Jay was not an option.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest. "You should leave. It was a mistake inviting you here in the first place. We have nothing more to say to one another that can't be said through our lawyers."

Jay shook his head, leaving Emma in her basement bedroom. Just when Jay figured things were looking up for him, in actuality, they were about to get a whole lot worse...

**Hope you enjoyed! Please R&R!!**


	19. The Judge Has Spoken

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"It's cases like these that make family court seem worse than criminal court. I have been a judge for many years and have overseen cases that keep me up at night. It's a rare thing to find two parents who not only want their child, but who are hard working, decent people. This case is not easy.

"Miss Nelson, while I applaud you on doing a wonderful job raising little Jase, I can't ignore the fact that we're here today because of your lies. Mr. Hogart, you knew there was a chance that Miss Nelson would become pregnant and verbally waived any rights to any resulting child. My job is to decide whether or not you and Miss Nelson ever entered into any sort of verbal contract regarding rights of this child. Not an easy task.

"I do not take this decision lightly, and therefore, am asking for more time before ruling on the issue of custody. In the meantime, I am granting temporary joint custody between Miss Nelson and Mr. Hogart. I have asked Miss Nelson's attorney to work out some kind of work arrangement so that everyone can remain within the city limits, making my job somewhat easier. Miss Nelson, were you able to work something out with your employer?"

Emma stood, nodding her head. "I have a temporary transfer, Judge Merkin. I will stay in Toronto as long as is needed."

The judge smiled. "The court appreciates your efforts, Miss Nelson, and I assure you, they do not go unnoticed. So, the child will remain here, in Toronto, giving Jase a chance to spend some well-deserved time with his father. Mr. Hogart, until my ruling, which will be made one month from today, I am granting you temporary visitation rights. Miss Nelson will care for the child Monday through Friday and Mr. Hogart, you will begin your visitations Friday night at six o'clock. The custody will cease at six o'clock on Sunday evening. Documentation has been provided to your attorneys. If there is nothing further, the court will stand dismissed."

Emma and Jay both stood, watching the judge walk out of the stuffy room, wishing they could flee with her. Jay looked over at Emma, but her face was stony and emotionless. _Be that way!_ Jay thought to himself. _All that matters is that I finally get to have time with my son!_

**Sorry for the really short chapter, but more to come...**


	20. Deal With God

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

Emma rubbed her sleepy eyes and stared at her mother, standing at the foot of her bed. "What is it?" she asked, her voice raspy from lack of sleep.

"Honey, it's Jay. He's just taken Jase to the hospital," Spike told Emma, concern evident all over her face.

Emma was out of bed, flying like a madwoman about the small space. She pulled on clothes in record time, stopping to use the washroom, splash some water on her face, and tie her hair back in a sloppy ponytail. She grabbed her coat, purse, and keys and flew up the stairs.

Snake was standing by the door, fully clothed, although a little dishevelled. "I'll drive," he said, offering a slight smile.

"I'll call my mom and see if she can come watch Jack. Em? I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?"

Emma didn't even bother to respond to her mother. She was too busy rushing to the car, opening the door and waiting for Snake to drive her to the hospital. She hated this waiting, not knowing what was happening with her baby. She stared out the window, suddenly realizing that it was raining. She touched the top of her head and felt the dampness resting there.

Chewing on the corner of her thumb nail, Emma said, "I should never have let him go with Jay. I knew this whole thing was a mistake."

Snake knew better, but kept it to himself. Jay had been nothing but the picture of a perfect father since Jase came into his life. And what meant more was that Jase adored Jay. Snake concentrated, instead, on the road ahead, on getting Emma to her son, and on praying to God that Jase would be okay.

Snake pulled up to the front entrance, opening his mouth to tell Emma he'd park the car and find her later, but Emma had already left the car, leaving the door open as she ran through the glass doors of the main entrance.

Rushing up to the nurses' station, Emma asked the receptionist, "My son. His name is Jase Nelson. He's been admitted."

"Emma?"

Emma turned around to see Jay, his face looking older than usual, coming toward her. She narrowed her eyes. "I swear to God, if you've done anything to hurt my son...I'll kill you myself."

Jay nodded his head, understanding Emma's fear. He'd been almost frantic when Jase had come into his room, complaining of a sore stomach and "hot head". Jay wouldn't have believed it himself, but he'd actually known just what to do. He'd taken Jase's temperature, with the ear thermometer Spike had given him, and when it registered 104, he'd called the hospital. Given his condition, they wanted him in right away. Jay wouldn't have been so worried, except Jase had become lethargic, moaning uncontrollably on the drive over. Now, he was desperate.

"What do you know?" Emma finally asked, regaining some composure.

"He had a fever. He got all limp and he was moaning. They brought him into the emergency room and I haven't found anything out since. I swear, Emma, I took good care of him," Jay vowed.

Emma turned away from him, pacing the small waiting area, not bothering to stop when Snake came in. Things were supposed to be getting better for Jase. The bone marrow transplant had worked and he was flying through every doctor's appointment in the last few weeks. Why was thing happening now?

Jay tried to sit, but found he was too restless for the inactivity. Instead, he walked the halls of the hospital, going over the events of the past few hours he'd spent with his son. No red flags appeared. Jay continued to walk.

That's when he found himself standing in the entrance of the small hospital chapel. He looked around and realized that he was alone. There was no one else there, so Jay decided to enter.

To say that he was not a religious person would be a huge understatement. Jay had attended his mother's funeral and that was the first and only time he entered a church. His wedding took place at some cheesy place in Vegas. None of his other friends had taken the leap. But regardless of all that, Jay walked through the entrance, approaching the alter. He walked into one of the pews, kneeling and crossing his hands.

He lowered his head and whispered, "God? I guess you probably have no idea who I am. I'm Jay. I don't exactly follow your teachings, or whatever. I probably live against everything you stand for. But all that doesn't matter. Where I go in the end, that doesn't matter either. All I care about is my son. He's just a little kid. He has a whole life to lead, so please don't take that away from him. And to sweeten the deal, I'll promise to leave him alone. If you make him better, I'll let him go back with his mother. I'll back down from this whole custody issue and I'll have nothing more to do with him. I won't ruin his life or make him like me. I'll let him be raised by his mother, because she's a good and decent person. She'll raise him right and make him a good human being. Just make him better. Please."

When Jay finished, he lowered his head to his hands and cried.

**Please read and review!**


	21. Who Wins?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except Jase...**

"Jay?"

Jay raised his head from the rail of the pew and stared at Emma, not bothering to wipe his weeping eyes. Emma walked toward him, her face one of concern.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Jay shook his head and finally swiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "Not even a bit. Do you have news about Jase?"

Emma smiled and sat down beside Jay. "This was the last place I expected to find you. Sorry if my bitchiness led you to the shelter of God's house," she joked. But Jay wasn't laughing. Emma still hadn't told him about his son. He gave Emma a look and she continued. "He has pneumonia. Apparently it's pretty common after an operation like Jase's."

"And?" Jay pressed, still holding his breath.

Emma placed a hand on Jay's shoulder. "He's going to be fine, Jay. Our boy will be fine."

Jay smiled, spontaneously hugging Emma. He let her go quickly, apologizing before getting to his feet. He was about to leave the chapel, to go see Jase, when he spotted a large statue of Jesus hanging from the cross. Jay had never been a spiritual person before, but something struck him and he sat back down. Emma, who was halfway down the aisle, thinking Jay was behind her, turned to find him sitting back down on the pew, his head lowered.

"Jay? He's really going to be fine. They'll keep him here for a bit, but just as a precaution. He'll be up and around in no time," Emma assured him.

Jay shook his head. "That's great. Then you two can get back to Montreal and on with your lives."

Emma, confused by Jay's sudden change in attitude, rejoined him on the wooden bench. "What are you talking about?"

"Ever since you came back to town with Jase, all I've done is get in your way of trying to take care of him. I thought I was doing the right thing for Jase, but maybe all of this fighting is just getting to him," Jay admitted. He turned to Emma and said, "You take really good care of him, Em. It's never been about that. I just wanted a chance to get to know him. But I made this deal, with God. I said that if He helped Jase be okay, that I'd back off. I'll keep that promise. You can get back to your old life, with Jase. I'm sorry if I've messed things up for you. I never meant to."

Emma leaned back, slouching down in the pew. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You and I are more alike than we realize," she paused. "I made the same deal. I asked God to make Jase better and that I'd do whatever I had to do to give Jase the chance to have a father. And I plan to keep my promise."

Jay bumped her with his shoulder. "So now what? Who wins?"

"Jase does. We have a long time to discuss how we're going to work this all out. But now, let's go see our son, okay?"

Jay nodded his head, getting to his feet and offering Emma a hand. The two stayed that way, hand in hand, as they walked up to Jase's room.

**Please review!**


	22. A Wedding and A Baby

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, because if I did, I would write Emma and Jay into the show!!**

"When I was really little, I got sick. I didn't know exactly what was wrong with me, but I knew it was bad. Then something pretty cool happened and I met my dad. He helped to save my life. I think he kind of saved my mom's life too. And now, I just want to say thanks to my mom and my dad, because we can finally all be a family," Jase finished, smiling a wide, gapped-tooth smile. He stepped back up to the microphone. "Oh yeah, and I also want a brother or a sister. Well, mostly just a brother. Thank you."

Emma and Jay smiled at each other, watching their son walk back to his seat between Spike and Snake. Jay turned to Emma and smirked. "That kid is more and more like me every day."

"And you've never been more proud," Emma smiled, leaning in to kiss Jay's lips gently.

"And you've never looked more beautiful," Jay commented, his eyes scanning down Emma's slender body, clad in a white, strapless gown. "Too bad you paid all that money for a dress that's gonna look better in a pile on the floor than it does on your amazing body."

Emma swatted at Jay, but still continued to smile. "You know, you don't exactly talk like a father or a husband."

Jay grinned. "How about like a sex toy, 'cause I'm okay with that role too."

"You're impossible," Emma teased, rolling her eyes. "It's a good thing we'll have a week away from Jase when we're on our honeymoon. I'll need all that time to train you."

"Train me? For what?"

"For fatherhood."

"I've been a father to Jase for almost two years now and we do fine. The kid loves me," Jay reminded.

"I wasn't talking about Jase," she whispered.

Jay narrowed his eyes and stared at the woman he loved more than life. "What are you talking about?"

"Babies are a lot of work, Jay. Diapers and no sleep and bottles. You got to skip out on all of that with Jase. You came along when all the hard stuff was over," she explained.

"I missed out on that, but that's okay. When the next munchkin comes along in a few years, I'll be there. You know I will," Jay vowed.

"A few years, huh? And what if it's sooner than a few years?"

"You trying to tell me something?"

Emma pursed her lips together tightly. She leaned forward and whispered, "I'm telling you that we're going to have a baby."

Jay tried to absorb the information, his face remaining tight and expressionless. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin. "A baby, huh? Now?"

Emma knew she should have told him before saying their vows earlier today, but she just wanted to get through the ceremony. She knew she could get Jay used to the idea and on board. But part of her feared he would never like the idea of having another child.

Jay shrugged. "I don't care what J-man says, I hope it's a girl."

Emma's face broke into a smile and she threw herself into Jay's arms, sliding off her chair and onto his lap. To the outside onlooker, it simply looked like newlyweds embracing. To Jay and Emma, it was the building of a future, the acceptance of each other's souls, the melding of two hearts...

**I hope that you all enjoyed this story and will keep your eyes open for future stories. I have a few on the go right now, but no titles so far. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! **

**Kisses, **

**Kerr**


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